Updated: Jan 26, 2021
An anonymous psychonaut shares their experience of vaping THC - not for the feint hearted!
This trip report began as a message to my friend, the following morning of the evening this trip took place. My friend had left the gathering at 10.00 pm. In a million years I could not have guessed that what was to follow, could really happen by taking just one toke on a THC vape. Some who read this will take it as a warning. Which is why I am offering it. And, I’m sure, there will be others who will take it as a recommendation or a challenge. 'Good luck', to those who fall into this second group. Vaping pure THC is 'nothing like' smoking cannabis.
I began the text message to my friend thus: ‘You will not believe what happened to me last night, only ‘minutes’ after you left! When you went, I closed the front door to find H and J with their coats on saying goodbye too. Along with the others I wished them a safe journey home and off they went. The three remaining were D, [the man who had provided the DMT for this evening’s ceremony] E and Y, two women friends I had got to know, and trust having journeyed with them in previous ceremonies. [I should add that I did not ingest any DMT at all. I was there to simply hold space for the others].
On returning to the living room I thought to myself ‘I’ll ask E for a toot on her THC vape.’ I’d had one earlier and it made everything feel a bit topsy-turvy and had not been at all unpleasant. I thought, that as everyone was going, I might relax a bit more. I took only one toot, after making certain I was using THC and not DMT, and ‘instantly’ and I mean INSTANTLY, the sound of a helicopters rotary blades was hammering in my ears. Like a high-speed binaural beat. I yelled out “What’s that I’ve just smoked?” Everyone stared at me in shock and time seemed to freeze - Literally freeze! Like a video that had been paused. In another moment the whole room changed in dimension and perspective. Even the light altered. Everyone looked like strangers. I almost didn’t know who I was! At the top of my voice I screamed twice, “I’m having a f**king trip - I’m having a full-blown f**king trip!” They just seemed to stare, like they were frozen.
Then suddenly D flew over beside me and said “Don’t worry. It will be over in 30-minutes. Just breath through it and try to stay calm.” He held my hand and put his other on my shoulder. I became acutely paranoid, almost psychotic. ‘How does he know what’s happening and hpw long it will last - unless they’ve spiked me intentionally?’ Plus, by now I didn’t believe for one second, he was D. He didn’t fully look like him anymore. He told me this had happened to him when he smoked the THC.
I became aware that Y was pottering around in the kitchen and then noticed E dropping her bag on the floor by the sofa. She silently slipped her jumper off and lay on the Thai bed facing away from me. A million thoughts were racing through my head. I fought hard to not let myself slip into unconsciousness as I focused on breathing into the trip. I began believing that maybe I’d had a stroke or heart-attack and had died. I thought I was maybe dead, and my brain was trying to break it to me slowly by constructing conversations with these three people, who were only vaguely familiar to me. I checked the clock on the wall, and it was 11-minutes past ten.
I asked for the bowl and a drink of water. I wanted to vomit. I was freezing and shaking, and my mouth was unbelievably dry. Ages seemed to pass during which I was taking D’s advice and focused on breathing into it. I knew that if I wasn’t dead then I just needed to wait it out. At the same time, I could see Y who had returned. She was sitting on the sofa repeatedly tooting on the THC vape; and it was not affecting her. I’m sure that I got a bit stroppy and questioned her again about which vape she had given me. She said “Honestly Dorothy, you had this one. I’m just used to it. This can happen sometimes.” It’s happened to D.” D confirmed what she was saying. They showed me the vape head containing DMT that was sitting on the cabinet next to me. I really wanted to believe them, but I couldn’t. D tried to reassure me again that this would all be over shortly, and I would be ok. I looked at the clock and it was 12-minutes past 10.00 pm. Had only one-minute of time passed since this all started? I must be dead! There’s no time anymore!
All sorts of thoughts were racing through my mind. I thought I would never see my family and friends again. Everyone who knows me will be shocked that I’m suddenly dead! Also, what if my life had only been a dream? Who are these people ‘really’? Who am I? Who ‘was’ I, even? I asked for a cup of tea and D and Y began putting throws around me to try and stop me shivering and shaking. The helicopter noise was still in my ears. I looked at the clock and it was 10.15 pm. Time hadn’t stopped. But how could it go so slowly?
E was still laying quietly on the Thai bed, not really joining in to offer me reassurance like D and Y. I became suspicious again and thought they were all actors playing people I know, and that I am either dead or my life had not been ‘My Life,’ but only a dream! Another part of me knew that E was just being herself. She too had been on the vape earlier and when she’s wrecked, she’s a woman of few words - I know that. I knew it whilst I was tripping but the paranoia was interpreting it differently. It wasn’t until E moved from the Thai bed to the sofa, that I could see her smiling and looking at me, which started to make me feel differently about her – less suspicious. Something must have begun changing because I began to feel, ever so slightly, that D and the women really did care about what was happening to me.
At times, the scene lost all perspective, everything and everyone looked flat like cardboard cut-outs. Everyone’s faces looked younger, and their skin was glowing slightly luminous. It all felt like a full-on LSD trip. Y brought my cup of tea and swapped seats with D. She sat with me apologising for what had happened. She told me it happened to her ‘once.’ “Only ONCE!” I said. I was incredulous. “You’ve been smoking that all night why you aren’t tripping now?” I asked accusingly. She again swore that she had only been having small inhales and has a tolerance for it. One part of me believed her but another part of me was saying “This can’t be true. This is a full-on LSD trip.”
I looked at the Clock. It was now 10.20 pm. I was still wrestling with the belief I was dead and that I had made up these three people. E and D were sitting on the sofa. D was inspecting the vape and asking her why the liquid THC is clear and not yellow. E said that she didn’t know.
I kept getting overwhelmed by waves of paranoia. Then I thought “Well, if they aren’t really who they say they are, then why are they still here?” Then I instantly became struck with terror, that if they are real, then they might leave me in this state. I asked them to stay till I was ok. They assured me they would and that they would never think of leaving me until I was straight. I was so grateful!
The next time I looked at the clock it showed 10.35. The noise of the helicopter rotary blades had reduced but it was still persistent and disturbing. I simply could not believe where this trip had come from. I began chatting to them and telling them how I thought they might be fake people and that I truly believed I had died. D told me he thought he had died when it happened to him too. I was coming down, but not as quickly as D had told me I would. We began laughing about stuff. Gradually, I noticed the helicopter sound was more like a constant whir-sound and less like a high-speed binaural-beat sound.
At 11.10 pm I was grounded and feeling extremely grateful to them ‘all’ for taking care of me. I felt concerned for Y, who was still feeling responsible for what had happened. I was trying to reassure ‘her’ now that it was ‘just one of those things.’ And not to worry or feel bad. They got their stuff together and each gave me a big hug before leaving. I walked into the kitchen and washed a few cups up. I don’t know who, but someone had very kindly washed all the soup bowls and glasses and cleaned the kitchen worktops. End of Message.
I sent a copy of the message I had sent to my friend to the three angels that had looked after me. At the end of the copied message I added: “Thank you, guys, for taking such good care of me. I don’t know what might have happened if I had taken that toot – as you were all leaving! Imagine! I’d be sectioned by now I’m sure. It really was that bad inside my head. Far worse even that what I’ve described.
Thank you all so much. x