One person's trip report of reconnecting to the Devine Mother, shared in their own words.
It began during my early morning walk around 5.45 am, when I unlock the local park. I cherish this time. This opportunity to be alone, with just my dogs and nature.
Today, I pulled the gates closed behind me in case any other early rising dog walkers should intrude upon me and disturb my communion with the trees, and the lone fox- for whom I had brought along a pouch of cat food.
I no longer placed the cat food on the trunk of the fallen Willow tree, where I had done so for the last two years, as a new dog walker was often not far behind me with her large hound - who I discovered had eaten the food a couple of times. I now closed the gate behind me and placed the cat food on a specifically chosen piece of ground behind the railings that separated the railway line that runs parallel to the wooded area of the park. I discovered my foxy friend has a secret tunnel running through the undergrowth of brambles and nettles close to the railings. Whilst the other walker's hound cannot get at the food, its presence would still frighten off the fox.
Most mornings I find myself talking to the trees. I tell them whatever is on my mind. The subject of what is on my mind can be anything. It may be very immediate, like how I feeling in that precise moment in response to their own beauty, I will tell them how grateful I am to have this time alone with them I tell them that I can believe their existence in the world is solely for my own sensual and spiritual pleasure and edification.
Today I told them about my anxiety regarding my Inner Child and how her ‘real’ mother, not her biological mother, her Real Mother – the Divine Mother had returned – and, that I felt like I wasn’t yet fully acknowledging her return.
The Divine Mother, I wish to explain, is the creative and nurturing aspect of the Divine Feminine. She is whom I had reconnected with during my Hippy-flip a week earlier.
The instant this statement was uttered the solution appeared in my heart. Did the trees give me the answer? I like (choose) to believe they did.
At this point I need to add that today is microdosing day. From my small jar of dried Golden Teacher mushrooms, I had consumed two of the smallest, probably lightest (I don’t always weigh microdoses) titchy-tiny little mushrooms before leaving the house. It’s unlikely they will have had any effect when I was talking to the trees. It’s only a three-minute walk from my home and I ate them just moments before leaving to come and open the park.
Anyway, back to the story. I came home and made myself a coffee and sat down to write about how trees had told me that it would be a good idea to ‘officially’ welcome my Divine Mother back into my heart. Which I have now done. This is what I wrote to her.
Dear Divine Mother. I unreservedly surrender all aspects of myself, my character and personality, which have hitherto occupied executive ‘roles’ and ‘functions’ they were never qualified nor equipped to perform; by reason of them being purely introjections of my birth-mothers own Inner Child, along with a mish-mash of cultural influences absorbed via the Zeitgeist of the post-war, working-class, ‘hell and damnation’ Protestant upbringing I grew up in.
Here - Now, I humbly and lovingly invite, and welcome, you back into my heart and conscious awareness. Please take your rightful place as my Inner Parent. And may you never leave.
From your place within my heart may you provide me with the ‘unconditional’ nurturing and loving guidance I have never, until now, had the opportunity to experience.
I realise that in truth You and I are both One. You are the mother/father aspect of my ‘true nature’. You are a disassociated part of my ‘Soul’. I reclaim you! I welcome you! Please sit and stay. May I know my nurturing Inner Parent. May I see and accept all my immature vulnerabilities and human imperfections without judgement and with compassion. May I value them equally alongside my strengths and beauty.
And in the giving of myself (My/Your), unconditional love, I learn how to nourish and foster the self-actualisation of my Inner Child’s creative and innovative potential.
I see now Divine Mother how you have made your way back to me. The many ways you have revealed your love to me. How through others you have supported me. As I look back, I recognise you in all the people who have been rainbows in my life. You loved me ‘through them’. Thank you. You have always been here inside of me. I realise how I drew upon your unconditional love and offered it to others, just never to myself.
She, would never (could never?) allow me to see your face. She, the obstinate, stubborn and controlling Inner Child of my birth-mother.
How would, or could, a baby know the difference – I was just a baby?
You are here now, finally. Through the love of my good friend and the visions provided by the Golden Teachers I recognised you and have become reunited. Welcome home and thank you for ‘never’ deserting me. I love you. Yours, DMT
Image credit alextooth.com